The End of the “Idea”

IMG_1532Take the microphone out of the stand; move it out of the way. Acknowledge the crowd & say something engaging to bring them in & help them escape on a magic carpet ride. Use that moment during your first laugh break to put the mic stand behind you without breaking the connection you just established right up front.

Whenever you bring notes on stage some percentage of the audience may roll their eyes if you consult them. Adam Sandler & Janeane Garofalo use notebooks onstage & it fits their performance style. Mitch Hedberg would often bring out a legal pad with his set list. The majority disguise it on a chair or teleprompter or a cup. If you have a set list with an acronym to remind you of what you want to say, fine. It should never be more than a word or two to describe each joke.

Don’t read jokes off the page unless it is poetry or politics. Why? Any time you break eye contact with the audience, you lose them a little bit. The connection is broken & so will be their concentration. You lead them with your facial expressions & eyes. If your eyes guide their eyes down to your notes, you’re causing a distraction & the audience is even more aware of the fact that you aren’t giving a strong, confident performance that demands their undivided attention.

You may be smothered in silence from the audience or maybe a titter or two. I don’t blame them. Your material is weak. Anyone who calls themselves a comedian is in the same boat – but they improve by refining their act. Open strong, squeeze the new stuff in the middle & then close strong.

Conventionally people go to open mics & try their best ideas for what they think comedy is. Anything they say that doesn’t get a laugh is eliminated or re-worked or tried differently next time. This process is repeated multiple times a night for about a decade before most people are good enough to be considered an official comedian. The idea that you’re never going to do that is your doom.

Curate material; eliminate every word that isn’t necessary to get the next laugh. Define your point of view & develop a concise character on stage. These things add up to comprise what comedy nerds call “finding your voice.” This isn’t stumbling upon a pot of gold under a rainbow. This is a continual process of figuring out what makes YOU funny & packaging that in a way that is marketable.

Is ‘success’ quitting your day job to be a full time comedian? Make mistakes. Try all of your ideas. The most important thing though is to listen to the audience’s reaction. If something doesn’t work, get rid of it. It’s a slow burn.

Stand-up is the opposite of a get rich quick scheme. The longer you do comedy, the more you realize how terrible you are at it which is how you get better. You also realize that the big milestone goals you had when you started aren’t as big of a deal as you once thought they were. Or at least that they’re not as fulfilling as you thought they would be.

Success is different to everyone. What do YOU want to achieve?

Comedy is no avenue for fame. All we have is social media. I was punched twice by a woman twice my size & weight. The next week I had 30K views.

Just keep in mind that this person you have idolized & put on a pedestal is just another human being like everybody else. I’ve worked with a lot of really famous fuckers & it’s very difficult to hang out with them because everywhere you go you’re barraged by delusional fucktards. They lose their wits & want photos with autographs. They demand them to say or do something funny or awesome because this is their big moment when they got to meet this super cool famous person.

NeverRepeataJoke is a form of terrorism. Toward myself. I’m doing this to people who don’t know. Spectators willing to sit down as an audience do not expect to see bat-shit mixed with rare glimpses of unrefined genius.

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