23 May

“Litmus Test”

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What the Hell kind of irony is “Radical Feminism”? This question assumes my reader (you) are a bigot. Our transgressions, which is a joining of the words “sexual aggressions” can be weeded out of a community, from family to family, confounding pundits & oddsmakers.
Women have “insert insult here” stamped on their foreheads: regardless of how […]

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12 May

Jokes are Chocolate Steaks

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Now, here I am, faced with the chance to be on camera; my audience submerged in pitch black. I see it is really the opportunity to illicit comedy. The subversive thrill of infiltration is the draw, though as I age, curiosity kills the cat. 9 times.
I’m not a comedian by definition. Part of me wants recognition, wants someone […]

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7 May

My Jokes Are Your Jokes

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What excels your creativity? My web series offers 887 jokes in video format. Seinfeld.com offers all of his jokes to the public. Digital thieves go unnoticed. Though deemed unsavory, joke thievery is widespread with the advent of the Internet. A comic doesn’t just have to worry about other comics stealing his jokes now, but also […]

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24 Apr

Funny $

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http://www.ramzysweis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/My-Movie.mp4
To quote Wyclef Jean, “I got nothing but funny money.” Money is funny. You want to be tight-fisted? You have to be tight-fisted. You want to be frugal? You’ll be called out. I don’t complain. I attain beast-mode on-stage while instilling harmony. Volume & defense overlapping.
Standup is not about talent as there is no validation. […]

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16 Apr

I Love My Fanz

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Sentiment is the value that comes from emotion or experience. Your sentimental value speaks to your function & attractiveness; it has prompted you to maintain your hygiene & manage your property. This registers self-worth & self-esteem. You grow a sense of pride & infiltrate the dynamics of respect.
Sentimentality is the basis of all conversation across […]

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11 Apr

The End of the “Idea”

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Take the microphone out of the stand; move it out of the way. Acknowledge the crowd & say something engaging to bring them in & help them escape on a magic carpet ride. Use that moment during your first laugh break to put the mic stand behind you without breaking the connection you just established […]

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9 Apr

Guinness Book of World Record Breaker

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1. What do you think of the word “comedienne?”
It’s silly. Any time someone is identified or classified as a “female comedian,” “Comedienne,” or other gender/race/religion/orientation distinctions, you’re subconsciously qualifying anything you say about that person. If I refer to someone as “a very funny female comedian” I’m bringing gender into a conversation where it does […]

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1 Apr

Jokes On Me – April Fool’s Day

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If you have diplomatic chops, you will penetrate an audience. That reaction creates a chemical cascade & reaches into the nuclei of human cells, & turns on genes & build up muscle in response to your environmental challenge. That’s why you tell more & more jokes. To give your life meaning & influence, sending neurotransmitters […]

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22 Mar

Why You Should NEVER Do Comedy?

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I write about this bi-weekly for my column at the News. No one understands the plight of a comedian unless you get your hands dirty like me. There are 60,000 in L.A. There are just as much as in Chicago. We are just trying to be ourselves. Does anyone care? Do you care? Is it fair […]

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19 Jan

The Real Patch Adams

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It’s democratic.  If you’re good you’re good.  You can become a celebrity overnight.  What defines a professional?  Did Jesus practice in becoming a preacher or hired as a spokesperson or have a degree in public relations?  No he was born with it.  It was a gift.  It [still] is a gift.
The door to your house closes, […]

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13 Jan

Seeds of Stand-up Comedy

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 The monologue is a comedy trend, with hot puns & fresh jokes drawn from daily news, real-life, cloak politics, idle threats. Add moxie for the laugh-line otherwise known as punch-line.  An everyman approach.
Combine topical subject matter with rapid-fire gag rhythms of a vaudeville quipster.  Create a logical heir.  Educational TV.  Like my dad says, “It […]

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